The Ottowan Hamster
The Ottawan Hamster is older than most,
He lives in the city but was born on the coast;
His stalk is as tall as an elephant’s eye
The elephant in question being the size of a fly;
He’s green as a daisy and round like a brick,
If you look at his teeth, you’ll fall dead right quick;
Rub the leaf on his head and he’ll give you good luck
But then he’ll ask for it back, leave you stranded and stuck;
If you pet on his fur, you’re likely to bruise,
He’s famed for his trenchant political views;
His children adore him, they worship his feet
And line up to applaud him when he drives by their street;
He’s had many names, though few of them clever,
He’s right good at bridge- he’s practiced forever;
His skin tastes like porridge, and mackerel jam,
He used to teach English to the king of Siam;
He was offered a nobel but kindly declined,
He wants to be known for his body not the state of his mind;
His tears grant wishes, his spit patches wounds,
He’s the one who taught Shakespeare how to spell ‘zounds’;
He’s been so many things to so many folks
That the Ottawan hamster could be nought but a hoax.
