Only In Japan

Japan’s as quirky as a Seinfeld character. Its oddities, for me, are what make it such a fun place to live.

Only in Japan…

…could a building be this cute.

Actually, everything here is excessively adorable, almost enough to make you puke in your mouth. Everything, from castles to high-speed trains, has a “character,” which makes you think that most marketing plans are directed at seven-year-olds.

…would a lady carry a giant bag of trash onto a train.

Japan’s got one of the most baffling waste management systems in the galaxy. And what’s more: you’ll be hard-pressed to find an adequate number of trash cans in public, which results in people having to carry trash in their pockets, purses, and murses until they find a bin appropriate for a specific type of rubbish.

…would I have to perform my own dental work.

I have a haunting feeling that many others have experienced similar dental challenges. Seven visits to the dentist and three hospital trips later, my tooth problem isn’t much closer to being fixed. Thanks to a frighteningly crippled medical system in which bureaucracy often crushes the quality of care, I was forced to sterilize my X-acto knife and get to work.

…could you marvel over a group of construction workers scrubbing dirt out of the cracks of a city street.

Yes, I saw this on a bike ride home. Most claim that Japan lacks a coherent national religious identity, but I beg to differ: it’s cleaning. Cleaning itself often seems to take precedent over Shinto spirituality, in which it’s an important ritual practice. Whether it’s cleansing your mouth and hands before praying at a shrine or obsessively scrubbing a street corner, cleaning creeps into nearly every aspect of Japanese life.

…could you see an army of traffic Nazis blanketing every small street corner.

Every time I see this white-gloved team, I have the same thought: ‘Who’s paying these guys?’ It seems that they fall into two categories: the over directors, and the day dreamers. Over directors tend to fuel confusion by mirco-managing every bicyclist, car, pedestrian and dog that passes, while day dreamers are as useless as pigeon wings on an buffalo. Either way, you could have up to five old men telling you where to go at the same time.