Love and Relationships: Eenie Meenie Minie Mo

So, it’s a typical Autumn weekend: cocktails and pastry all Friday night while chit-chatting on Facebook; sleeping in late Saturday morning to be awoken by the mid-day sun; a lazy lunch date followed by light shopping — scouting out the sales; talking with my Mom on SKYPE….. blah blah blah. But this weekend, the issue of ‘choice’ came up: the argument of passing up on one thing in order to do something else: the discourse of looking at ones limited resources, analyzing the options and making an informed decision to do ‘A’ instead of ‘B’. I was forced to discuss OPPORTUNITY COSTS!

Some people hate making choices, while some find it an easy task to do. I’m not sure where I stand on this spectrum, but all I know is that some choices are second to nature and are self made. Some choices do not require the convening of a grand jury and the presentation of facts from both parties and a vote to determine the ‘way forward’. Some choices should be almost predictable. SHOULD!!

Now, opportunity costs may seem like one of those technical economical terms you only hear on the business segment of the news or if you stayed awake during your Economics lectures in college but it’s such a basic part of nature! As fabulous human beings as we are, we encounter ‘opportunity costs’ on a daily basis. We have choices. We choose to do one thing instead of something else. We choose to buy a Ralph Lauren spring scarf instead of paying off that visa credit card. We choose to have another slice of pizza instead of a salad. We choose coffee instead of tea and fish instead of steak. We choose to date a tall, handsome European Investment Banker instead of a short, okay-looking Japanese school teacher. We choose to stay in an unhappy relationship instead of fighting the fear and leaving that bastard. We choose to surround ourselves with some friends instead of others. We choose to invest in some friendships and relationships, leaving others by the wayside.

But one thing is sure is that with ‘opportunity costs’ comes the ‘’option’’ that wasn’t chosen; the visa card that wasn’t paid; the salad that wasn’t eaten; the steak that wasn’t ordered; the tea that wasn’t drunk; the short Japanese guy; the happy life you could have lived if you had just been a little more brave and left him; and the friends and lovers you mistreated and constantly hurt.

I’m not naive! I know that life is filled with alternatives/options and we have to choose one over another and forgo the benefits of not having the one we didn’t choose. But the beauty of life is that it gives us some simple choices so that when we analyze the benefits we can receive from acquiring either ‘option’, there is a clear winner. So then, why is it that some people constantly choose the ‘’wrong’’ option? – hate over love; sadness over happiness; temporary vices or permanent friendships; one night of lust over a long life of companionship. I’ll never know!

OK!!!! So, I know that choices are an individual thing and no one should ‘judge’ someone else for making his/her choices. But, when it comes to friendships and relationships that you are a part of, clearly you are allowed to ‘appeal’ the ruling of the ‘court’ and the decision/choice that has been made. But then, do you really want to know why you were passed up for something ‘better’? [I would!] Who likes to be the runner-up? Who likes to know that you have been consistently investing in a friendship, but when a simple choice was given, are left un-chosen? And I guess the most hurtful part is that if you were passed up for the simple things, what will happen when the big issues arrive?

Choices! Values! That’s what it all comes down to. The choices people make have a value, and we end up with our very own price tag stamped across our face – are you DISCOUNTED or CUSTOM MADE? Choices aren’t made in isolation. Each option on a decision tree has a value attached to it, so each time someone ‘chooses’ you (Pikachu!) you feel your stock price head skywards. Options you decide to leave behind are less important than those you take – you clearly value them less. I only have space in my closet for 10 sweaters but the sales just started. Liz Clairborne and DKNY – you will always be safe. You are my special friends that will never be replaced. Some of you others though, you better make sure you’re bringing you’re a-game.

Whatever the movies say, you can measure love and you do it by looking at human reactions to how we feel or value things. So, however the dice rolls and whatever ‘price tag’ you got stamped on your forehead, just make the best of it, because it’s life. Different people, different price tag too. On the flip side (there we go again….choices) ‘KARMA’ is a big BITCH! Whoever decides you aren’t worth it will get it in the end – watch out!